WANTED: APPROXIMATELY
11 SOCKS
SUSPECTS ARE
WHITE…SORT OF AND HAVE HOLES WHERE THE BIG TOE WOULD GO
AWARD: MY TEMPORARY
GRATITUDE
Seriously…where did my socks go?
Okay. It’s been a while once again.
This time I have a good reason.
I was EXTREMELY sick.
It had to happen at some point-like throwing up in public-it
is a milestone.
Sickness usually gets a bad name but it has a nice way of
simplifying things.
While traveling my mind is frequently racing:
Where the hell am I? Am I going out enough? Am I seeing
enough sites? Is there a God? Should I really be traveling at all? I’m about to
be 24! One foot in the grave! Am I gaining weight? Why did I major in Musical
Theater? Is it spelled Theater or Theatre? Etc. etc.
When sick, at least the kind of sick I was, all these woeful
musings become one simple objective:
Don’t. Shit. Your. Pants.
For two days I could barely move.
I wasn’t even able to do my day trip to Luxembourg. WHICH
WAS WHY I CAME TO EUROPE IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Why did I get sick?
Well, to point to one cause would be oversimplifying it.
The top 2 are:
1. I ate French fries three times in one day in Belgium
2. I went to a pubcrawl Friday night in Paris…and then
Saturday night…and then stood in the rain for an hour trying to hail a cab (because
the subways close)
I was fortunate, however, that my illness started in the
most convenient place possible.
ON THE TOP FLOOR OF THE FUCKING EIFFEL TOWER.
Enough of that.
Paris was, initially, lovely.
The best experience truly was the croissants. People
exaggerate a lot of things (like the Leaning Tower of Piza. It should be the
Slightly Slanted Tower of Piza) but French croissants are out of this world.
I went to Versailles, which was absurdly gorgeous and
equally absurd in general.
Went to Café Deux Maggots (that’s the name…) where my
grandparents used to have coffee when they visited Paris. I ordered what I
thought was a cup of hot chocolate…but I think I just got a giant cup of melted
chocolate.
Didn’t do Moulin Rouge because the signs said you had to be
dressed up and I am not going through that
again (see Milan)
Lots of stuff…and then sickness struck and I remained in a
reclining or sitting position for 48 hours.
THEN. I decided to I would have to take a day off Zurich.
There was no way I could travel with my nearly imploded bag but the hostel was
booked.
I went Super Saiyan.
Didn’t eat for 6 hours.
Went for it.
Made it!
Hostel Room was on the 5th floor.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
15 minutes later.
Alternated between reclining and sitting for 24 hours.
Only yesterday was I able to move enough to check out one
museum in Zurich.
(And it was good! There is one exhibit where a tongue pops
of the wall when you walk by)
I went to one restaurant and I had this exchange towards the
end of the meal.
Me: Oh, could I just have a glass of water before I go?
Attractive Waitress: Bottled or tap?
Me: Oh, just tap.
AW: Large or small?
Me: Oh, whatever. Wait. Why?
AW: They’re different prices.
Me: Oh, no. Just the tap water please.
AW: Yes. What size?
Me: The tap water…costs money?
AW: Yes. Sorry.
Me: …small then.
AW: Okay it’s just like a 1/8 liter glass.
Me: …FFFFUUUUU-
And then I blacked out.
I woke up to the most expensive, smallest, iceless glass of
water I’ve ever drunk/drank/bibo/bibare/bibavi (LATIN!)
Apparently Zurich is home of THE MOST EXPENSIVE STREET IN
THE WORLD. And I was on it.
Now I’m in Interlakken. I’d say I’m one day away from full
recovery. I’ve signed up for paragliding tomorrow and canyoning the day after.
I added a day here and took a day off Toulous because this
place seems like the bombdotcomslashawesome.
I’m not going to do sky diving because…I’m a loser.
So then Toulous for two nights
Barcelona
Madrid
Granada
Lisbon
Dublin
Galway.
That list is a lot shorter than it used to be.
I’m okay though. I can’t wait to get back to work.
Grace and I are going to publish a book. Robb and I are
going to take over New York…and I’m gonna be in a buddy cop comedy/drama with
Daniel Day Lewis.
:(@)-,
I don’t know what that face means,
Gianmarco
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