July 28th-August 6th: Lisboa, Dublin, Galway

I knew what you’re thinking:

“Gianmarco, you may be sad that your trip is coming to a close, however, that misery is incomparable to my own despondency that there will be no more nEUROtic Travels posts.”

What can I say.

Life is hard.

BUT I will write one more after this with the ‘top-ten-or-something-or-other-lists”

When last we left our protagonist, I was in Lisbon (Lisboa) in Portugal.

I had the fortune of arriving on the hostel’s 3^rd birthday. Free Dinner, Free drinks, and I capitalized Dinner.

Next day: beach. Surfed-

Let me finish

I watched people surf.

Someone threw up in my room. Twice. Don’t try to find a narrative in this post.

Pubcrawl.

Last day I went on a charming “We Hate Tourism” tour of Lisbon and ate three pastries, had the best ice cream of my life, and ate another pastry. Paris has competition.

Lisbon was generally pleasant so…yeah. Let’s move on.

Dublin.

While in Dublin, I was overwhelmed by the number of things to do. Everywhere I saw signs for once-in-a-lifetime events. I thought, “How is it that so much is happening in Dublin! There wasn’t this much stuff in Madrid, Rome or Berlin!”

Then I realized it was because…everything was in English now. I was now able to comprehend exactly how much it was I was missing.

Despite the pangs of knowledge, I had a very Guinness-fueled, lovely time.

I toured an area called the “Garden of Ireland”, which, if it fits the definition of a garden, is the largest garden in the world.

Many movies were shot there including PS I Love You, Braveheart, Dancing at LooNASA, so on and so forth.

While driving we even passed two huge movie crews (one for a film called “Viking”?)

While in the back of the tour van, pretending I could understand this man with his strong accent, I caught this gem:

Guide: “Guinness, Guinness, lucky charms, Daniel Day Lewis lives around here, diddly doo, Guinness”

…

DANIEL

DAY

LEWIS

AND a scene from My Left Foot was shot in this area as well!

So I don’t remember the rest of the tour-I just fantasized running into DDL and having him offer to get my monologues back in shape before I return home. Then asking if he wanted to star in a Buddy-Cop ComioSer with him-with both of us playing characters with Cerebral Palsy. Then me beating him at the Oscars-and him being very supportive of me but still I notice a glint of jealousy in his eye-because of my Meisner-Behavior-Calling-Skillz.

But I digress.

That night I participated in a very pleasant pubcrawl

The next morning I went to a session where I learned the basics of Irish Dance and Drum.

That night I went on a “musical” pub crawl. Not that kind. Though on that note-I’ve listened to Falsettos in its entirety three times on this trip. Best Musical Ever. Period. (.)

The Musical Pub Crawl was a glorious demonstration of Irish music by two musicians that included a considerable deal of considerably overpriced Guinness.

Next day I did a walking tour of Dublin with an Actor!

When I told him how pursuing acting in NYC works, he proceeded to laugh at the absurdity of life and subsequently wept for us all.

Finally: Galway.

It turns out that I came to Galway during a 5-day horse-racing event, called, with that traditional Irish irony, the Galway Races.

I think.

I missed “Ladies’ Day” (I think) where the women dress to the nines and even tens for the chance to win best dressed. What happens when you win best dressed, you surely ask?

You win 30,000 Euros.

30,000 Euros

If you even win ‘best hat’ (and these are not hats of function-these are silly hats that hang on the side of ones head, pinned with 50 or so pins as to combat gravitational forces) you get 10,000 Euros

10, 000 Euros.

And! An Ozzie (…or is it Aussie? Ozzy Osbourne) won!

Even when I went to the races-people were dressed at least to the eights-and I won 1 Euro.

Oh, btw, horse racing is just a wee bit more exciting than dressage, which is a wee bit more exciting than memorizing all the digits of pi after a period of pi*r^2 minutes, r being the speed of light.

More exciting than the races was the carbide to them. You say ‘car ride’ I type ‘carbide’.

I was traveling with a charming fellow who, due to a car accident in his teens, is paralyzed from the chest down.

The cab driver, in a fit of piety, proceeded to whip out his highlighted Bible, gave us a lengthy sermon about how Jesus would heal this fellow if we would give ourselves over to ‘Him’, had us read selected passages, and then led us through an oath, ending in a series of rather aggressive ‘Halleluiahs’.

Both of us were fortunately in good spirits-until the driver attempted to find a particular verse (one of the few he had not committed to impeccable memory) while driving.

Driver: “Dammit. I don’t know how I’m going to find this while I’m driving!

Me and Fellow: Neither do we!

Another highlight was, upon quoting something quite poetic and potentially moving, he ran a red light and exclaimed “Goddamn, fucking red lights!”

Oh…and some of it might have been recorded by accident.

We survived the ride. Thank SomeoneSomethingOrOther.

Last night I went out with some new fellows, danced a wee bit and ended up in a heated debate on the virtues of marriage with each other. You can imagine how my optimism shone through and won me amany acompanion. But more likely the opposite of that sentence.

Tonight is my last night.

I’m gonna push through.

Last pub crawl, bus 700 in the morning, flying home.

I will write one more post so prolong your tears.

I’m gonna need 1 month recovery time of intense dieting and hours of sense-memory but then please visit me. I will be severely lonely and shaken.

Thank you for reading,

Gianmarco

Oh.

I lost Anna Karinininina.

Unless…someone stole it?? I usually resort to this…but who steals a worn copy of Anna Karininininininina?

Finished Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (all 5)

Bought Voltaire’s Candide (It was only 2 Euros!...)

Finished it

All that I have left is an acting book…I guess it’s back to work.

:*

Oh, and Max-I’ll work on getting the Monica Lewinsky Pictures. My hands were busy at the time but I’m sure someone has pictures.