FIRST DAY!

I know everyone says this but, "I know everyone says this but I never thought I'd write a blog". Today I began my Euro trip.

Isn't the title of my blog clever? nEUROtic Travels. I capitalized the EURO so that it really hits you. Ever since I started watching Mad Men I think I have advertising abilities. The same way I used to watch Law and Order and thought I had policing abilities. Or the Office and office abilities. I have none of those abilities. See how I bolded the none? Really hits you.

Just in case you were planning to-DO NOT write a grammar textbook with this blog as your sole source of grammatical rules. No one will buy it. I might because it's cool to think someone cared about my blog so much that they wrote a book solely based on the grammatical functioning of my blog. And I'm sure your Mom would buy it because it would be really rude not to buy your son's/daughter's/ze's textbook. All I'm saying is...whatever, write it if you won't. I take it all back.

So. My trip. I was in the middle of 5 seats from DC to Rome. I think I slept 20 seconds. I was forced to watch The Vow. Ow (RHYMING!). Really, where was The Artist? The Avengers? The next Batman movie? C'mon United.

Got to Rome. The flight from Rome to Catania was in an hour and a half. Not enough time. I cut about 3,141.59 people with their visas (I had to get my checked bag!) to make the flight in time. Luckily they checked my bag for that flight 30 minutes before the flight (I believe policy is one hour here). (Get over it, I use a lot of parenthesis). Somehow I made it but between you and me (this is assuming anyone other than me is reading this so perhaps me and me) these Italians need to brush up on their English.

Got to Catania, took a cab to hostel (sorry...). It's very nice. Went to huge monastery, which I learned is now a University. It was very confusing for a little bit until some college student said to me, "What the hell are you doing here?" At least that's what I thought she meant. All she said was, "Mammamia! Marinara Sauce!" Then I went to the Ursino Castle/Museum. By this point I was so tired I think I hallucinated for the first time in my life. Everyone was speaking a different language. No, but for real, I saw a painting in the museum there that was not there. I decided I had to sleep.

Went back to room to sleep. Didn't sleep. Watched some Mad Men instead. What an amazing show. Went to eat a light dinner. Instead of a light dinner I ate the equivalent of 3 loaves of bread. Do not attempt an Atkin's Diet in Italy. Don't attempt an Atkin's Diet. I heard a TED talk about it sucking. I love TED talks because they make me feel lazy and unintelligent in under 20 minutes.

So. Tomorrow. Train to Taormina. Staying for 3 days-ish. Mnt. Edna. Beaches. Thousands of italian models. Maybe the Casting Director for Downton Abbey will be there and say, "Hey stop by England so you can be a lead on Downton Abbey. At least that's what I thought he meant. All he said was, "Cheerio, crumpets!"

Thank you for reading.

Amen.